Saturday, 25 July 2015

RANDOM



1. Nigerians don't ever rest. Even after death, they still work as ancestors, collecting kolanuts, white fowl and aromatic Schnapps.
2. In Hollywood, you feel people's pulse to know whether they're dead or alive. In Nollywood, just pick the hand and drop it.
3. If you marry a girl that can't cook, bros your case dey "MR BIGGS"
4. When next you check your boyfriend's texts. Ignore his chats with girls, and check the ones with guys. That's where the truth is
5. No matter how expensive your Wrist watch is, as long as it won't tell you Christ's Second coming, its as Useless as the "P" in Psycho 
6. If you have attended over 100 weddings and you are still single. Sister, you are no longer different from a canopy. May God connect you ASAP!!
7. You don't have to be in UK to be OK, help comes from above not abroad.
8. Ladies are wicked. They will lay on your chest and ask, "Honey have you ever cheated on me?" ...then wait for your heart to beat fast.
9. A cockroach is afraid of a rat, a rat is afraid of a cat, cat is afraid of a dog, a dog is afraid of a man, a man is afraid of his girlfriend, a girlfriend is afraid of a cockroach.
10. LAST SEEN: Whatsapp- 1Min ago •BBM - 5Mins ago • Twitter- 2Mins ago • BIBLE - 2002. My dear, the Devil has soaked your cane in kerosene.
11. BBM and Whatsapp have been rated as the 2nd and 3rd app for chats and gossip, but Women still retain the 1st position.
12. Wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made. So think deep, choose your prison mate carefully and sentence yourself wisely to avoid prison break.
13. To those who commit suicide; why are you so selfish? Why kill yourself when so many people are looking for whom to use for money rituals?
14. As a matter of fact, there's no female angel in the Bible. So if any guy calls you an angel, na wash ooooo.

#Kip Smiln’

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